I am currently being blessed (?) with a visit from my cousin, Hayseed Fox. Hayseed is demonstrably cut from a different bolt of cloth than yours truly, and evinces a distinctive departure from my own personality and prosaic style. Hayseed has been clamoring almost nonstop for me to allow him to address this assemblage of fellow Hog fans in his own inimitable style. For the explicit expediency of shutting him up, I have reluctantly agreed to the allowance of ONE post. I am in hopes that all of you will forgive my suffrage for this atrocious infringement. Hayseed aspired to attend Penn State; - - but he ended up going to State Pen instead. His approximated IQ is roughly commensurate with his trousers waist size. You’ve heard of people who don’t know anything? - - Most of the time, Hayseed doesn’t even SUSPECT anything. Okay; - - - - you’re on, Hayseed. - - – Hayseed?
wel uh grate big howdi tu ol uv yawl felo hawg fanz ime hayseed silverz kuzin and ime thu branze uv thu famli obveusly
wurmz gat en tu mi korn krop this yere but i jes fishtum owt and drunc it enywa.
me and mi misuz jes muvd en tu a nu hows las weke wel it ant nu but itz nu tu us enywa thu liddlest rume in thu hows wuz fild with sum nu gajetz thurz uh ultru modurn cuntrapshun tha alowz yu to put won fut at uh tyme en it and warsh it ol ovur reel gud and thin push thu lidl silvur handlul and hav kleen woter fur thu uther fut it had tu lidz on it and wee wuz abel tu yuze both uv thoze tu thu misuz usez the sawlid won tu role do on and wee framd grandpaws pichur with thu uthur won
gud talken tu yal silvurz a pritty desint gi butt heez uh liddle slo if yu no whut i meen