Not sure I can wrap my mind around this

Texas’ special teams coach has a girlfriend. Said girlfriend is a stripper known as Pole Assassin. Pole Assassin has a pet monkey who is sometimes part of her stage act. Said monkey bit a kid at a Halloween party the other night. And there are all sorts of things on the intertoobz tonight about Ms. Assassin and the simian.

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any weirder… If you’re interested, Google “stripper monkey”.

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I’m not gonna be tricked like that again! :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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You just can’t make this S%#t up, lol.

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Even better, the coach left his wife and kids to hook up with Pole Assassin.

Only in Austin…

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Polemic

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I’m going to Vegas in a few weeks. I learned a long time ago that “pole assassins” just cost you money and heartache…not sure what to say about the monkey, lol. Very happy this is happening in Austin though. Couldn’t happen to a more delusional fan base. My, how the mighty have fallen.

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Last time I was in Austin, there were a ton of bumper stickers saying “Keep Austin Weird”. I think Ms. Assassin and the monkey are doing their part to maintain the tradition.

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There is a similar bumper sticker in Fayetteville
“Keep Fayetteville Funky”
Of course, the city leaders envision Fayetteville becoming what Austin is

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I’m going take your word on this story Swine. No way I’m going to google “stripper”

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LOL. I actually didn’t see anything NSFW on that search, but I’m sure if I had dug around some more I would have.

Googleing that can get you fired!

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and Jeff Banks is a great recruiter, so how much latitude does he get??? was also an Aggie. LOTS of very valid media folks enjoying this story. Im sure that Sark was supposed to have gotten this out of his system when he did time in Saban’s reform school, might drive him back to drinking. Who will be waiting to sign a great recruiter/special teams coach? Mike Price anyone? Just few benign inclusions and I did not need to google using stripper. Supposedly the monkey is an emotional support monkey who helps mom win Jerry Springer gigs and contests. Truly a hot social media topic.

A center of high-tech? Sure. A traffic-choked metropolis? Nah. But there’s not enough room for Fayetteville to turn into Austin unless it swallows Farmington, Elkins, Greenland, Goshen and possibly West Fork. Which could happen, I guess.

In 1940, Austin and Little Rock had about the same population. Now Austin is almost a million; LR just crept over 200,000. Since I visited Austin for the first time in 1979, the population has tripled. And the traffic was bad even then. Of course the traffic in Fayetteville is pretty bad now.

It is cruel to keep wild animals as pets.

I was told by someone I know that his son brought a young lady to Thanksgiving dinner (and this was about 25 years ago) with the explanation from the son of her occupation, “She’s a dancer.” My friend said, “So where do you dance?” The response was not what he wanted to hear. No more questions. My friend said he was hopeful she was going to explain that she was one of the “Rockettes.” Nope. Not that kind of dancing.

My friend said, “Well, she was attractive.”

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:rofl: :rofl:

Said stripper’s monkey clamped down so hard on the youngster, they needed pliers to open its mouth to get it off. Gives substance to the “Trick” side of the equation (without referencing the said stripper in any way).

Lewis Grizzard (wonderful Southern writer) dated a few strippers. He politely called them “ballerina dancers”.

His humor was wonderful.

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While I’m tempted to pick up a stone and join in on the fun, I keep having flashbacks to a fuzzy night long ago in Pensacola and a " performance artist" named Buttercup.

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Everyone is invited to the wedding.

image

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