How do we break the Aggie spell? (aka Aggie Jokes)

I say go old school. We need some Aggie jokes/stories.

True story.

I few years ago I worked with several Aggie engineers (I know oxymoron). I was the system admin for all the computer systems.

The week before the AR game, I changed all of their passwords to GOHOGSGO. I was only able to do this for a day, but we won the game that week.

Whatever it takes!!!

Did you hear about the pickup load of Aggies that wrecked into a farm pond and drowned?

It was really sad. They couldn’t get the tailgate down.

… that there are no Aggie jokes? All of those stories are true! :lol:

I know it’s an old one, but it’s my favorite: What do you get when you cross a Razorback with an Aggie? Nothing. There’s just some things a Razorback won’t do…

Here’s mine:

An Aggie calls in a pizza delivery order.
Aggie: I’d like an extra large pizza with everything, please.
Clerk: OK. That’ll be $16.99. Do you want deep dish or thin crust?
Aggie: Thin.
Clerk: How about some extra cheese for a dollar?
Aggie: Sure. Anything else?
Clerk: Yep. Would you like it cut in eight slices, or 12?
Aggie: Better make it eight. I don’t think I can eat 12.

My favorite is: “they went at night”

An Aggie bums a ride from an Arkansas truck driver. After about two hours of driving and talking, the Aggie says he has to use the bathroom. Well, they’re in the middle of nowhere, and the Arky tells the Aggie that there are no restrooms for another hour. The Aggie says he can’t hold it, so the Arky pulls over so the Aggie can go behind a bush. After a while, the Aggie yells, “Hey, you got any toilet paper?” “No,” the Arky replies, “You got a dollar? Use that.” After a while, the Aggie comes back with crap all over his clothes, and the Arky asks, “What the heck happened to you?” The Aggie replies, “Ever try to wipe your butt with three quarters, two dimes, and a nickel?”

This one is from the old SWC days:

A man walks up and sees three college students and bets them he can guess which SWC schools they attend. They reply “go ahead and try”. He guesses, “you are from Arkansas, Texas, and Texas A&M.”

“How did you know?” they questioned the man. “Well, I saw your red overalls, you must be from Arkansas. And, I saw the horns on your Cadillac there so you must be from Texas.”

“You’re right” agree the Arky and longhorn. “What about me?” asks the Aggie.

“Oh, I saw you’re class ring while you were picking your nose”


So, there’s this student, Bubba, at A&M who has been there for many many years and has not graduated. He’s a legend on campus. But finally, the administration says, “Look Bubba, you’ve been attending A&M for 10 years and haven’t graduated. We’ve run out of classes for you to take. It’s time for you to move on. So we’re going to give you a test. One question. If you get it right, you get to graduate. If you don’t, you’ll just have to leave school.” Rumors about the test circulate through the campus and everyone is excited because everyone knows Bubba. As the date of the big test nears, everyone wants to see the outcome so the administration moves the test to Kyle Field. The place is packed. Bubba in his chair facing the administrative counsel. The mic buzzes and the Dean speaks, “Bubba, are you ready for your test?” “Yes sir.” The crowd goes silent. “Ok Bubba, what is 2 plus 2?” Bubba thinks for a moment and says “FOUR”. After a short silence, the crowd starts chanting, “Give him one more chance!!!” :smiley:

An Aggie was walking through the woods when he came across a beautiful woman lying naked in front of him.

“Are you game?” the Aggie asked the woman.

“Yes,” she replied.

So, the Aggie shot her.

Heard on the news last night that an Aggie football player was involved in a near tragic horseback riding accident. Thankfully, his life was spared when the K-Mart manager came out and unplugged it.

Why do Aggies like smart girls?

Opposites attract. :lol:

But did you hear about the Aggie who was so dumb that all of the other Aggies knew?

The Aggie football team was playing. A train pasted by and blew its whistle. The opposing team mistakenly thought that was the halftime signal, and left the field. The Aggies then ran three plays and punted.

Basketball version - the entire other team fouled out in the first half, and the Aggies won on a last second shot in double over time.

And then there’s the guy who made millions in College Station. Painted “W” on garbage trucks and sold the to Aggies as Winnebago RVs.

An Aggies was riding in the Indy 500 and stopped five times, when asked why he said three times to get gas and twice to ask directions.

Aggie goes to a store, ask if they have condoms.

Clerk: Yes we have a package of three for $1:00
Aggie: I’ll take a package.
Clerk: That will be $1.08
Aggie: What’s the 8 cents for
Clerk: The tax
Aggie: Oh, I thought they just rolled on.

A Longhorn and an Aggie were using the men’s room at halftime. The Longhorn finishes and walks toward the door. The Aggie calls over his shoulder, “At Texas A&M, they teach us to wash our hands after we go to the bathroom.” The Longhorn replies, “At the University of Texas, they teach us not to go to the bathroom on our hands.”

Two Aggies graduate from A&M and decide to become chicken farmers. They buy 10,000 chickens and plant them, head down. The next day all the chickens are dead. They buy 10,000 more chickens and plant them, head up. The next day, all the chickens are dead. They can’t figure out what they are doing wrong. One of them says, “Lets write our old agri professor at A&M and ask him. He is the most distinguished professor at A&M, he can help us!”

So they do. The write a letter and explain everything they have done so far. A few days later they get a letter back from the professor. They open it and it says “Send me a soil sample.”