Well, I dusted off that crystal ball I told you folks about a few months ago. I probably shouldn’t have done it, but I got antsy about the future. The only thing the crystal ball revealed was our quarterback situation, so here goes….
KJ was put on an all rice diet to get his weight down. He ate nothing but rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner. He got down to a svelte 220. He proceeded to make pork fried rice out of the Owls in the first game. Super, right? Unfortunately, he went out to Sonic to celebrate after the game and proceeded to eat everything on the menu. He had such a sugar and calorie high, he had to be hauled off by paramedics. They found remnants of a Sonic Blast on his shirt and 437 half-eaten Ched R Peppers in his pockets.
A panicked Briles goes to find Hornsby and Coley. Unknown to anyone, Hornsby had decided that he was too thin to play but he had fast fingers. He had left campus to start a band named “Malik Hornsby and the Radar Range.” Also unknown to anyone, Lucas Coley had been dreaming of Coley O’Brien the old Notre Dame quarterback of 1969 Michigan State fame. Lucas changed his name to Coley Coley and entered the transfer portal for South Bend. Some have speculated that he should have renamed himself Coley Coley Coley. He would have won a dove award and gotten all kinds of NIL money.
A wide eyed Kade Renfro knew he was next. No way he was going to let that happen. He and John Stephen Jones ran off to Dallas. While there, Jerry thinks Kade is the grandson of Mel Renfro and immediately signed him to a free agent contract. When Jerry was later told that Kade is a white dude and Mel is a black dude of no relation, Jerry said “Well darn, my bad”.
Landon Rogers’ room was empty. Just a note saying “gone.” He was later found hiding in the Parkview locker room.
With no quarterbacks on campus, Pittman and Briles did the only thing they knew to do. On the spot they create a new offense known as the “Inverted Horn Bone” and they moved Ty’Kieast Crawford to quarterback. This so stuns the Horns in the following game Crawford rushes for 500 yards and the Hogs throttle the Horns 42-11. Among the Texas contingent was Rick McIvor who sat stunned looking at the scoreboard. “Dang” said McIvor. “40 years later and it’s déjà vu all over again”.
I could go on telling you about the future quarterback situation but this post probably bores most of you to death … so I won’t.