Catholics v. Baptists

OK, so this is an attempt to poke fun at (offend?) many people. This will probably be deleted in short order.

Thoughts on tonight’s championship game from many different denominations and belief systems.

Methodists - we love both teams.

Presbyterians - the outcome of tonight’s game has been predetermined.

Pentecostals - we’re bouncing off the walls waiting for tonight’s game.

Episcopalians - meh, let’s just skip this game and go mix some drinks.

Non-denominational - can either team’s praise band attend tonight’s game?

Dominican Catholics - we ain’t rootin’ for no Jesuit team.

LDS - boy, I bet that good looking Corey Kispert has at least 4 sister wives.

Scientologists - both teams need to be audited. Especially Baylor.

Buddhists - what is the sound of one Zag clapping?

Hindu - we think this game has been played before.

Islam - by the will of Allah, both teams will lose!

Jehovah’s Witness - 144,000 people will be at tonight’s game.

Zoroastrian - dang, the three of us traveled a long way to get to Indianapolis. Fortunately Charles Barkley appeared to us in a dream and told us to go to Annapolis so we could avoid the evil king Mark Emmert.

Rastafari - hey mon, no Tyger Campbell tonight. Let’s just go home and have a spliff.

Bahai’ - will Seals & Crofts perform at the half?

African tribal religions - bow down to Tchamwa Tchatchoua and Thamba his prophet.

Agnostic - can you believe all this championship game nonsense?

Atheist - I don’t believe this championship game nonsense.


That’s pretty good right there.

I would add the Baptist perspective:

If we lose we never actually played the game

I have a good friend who went from Baptist to Episcopalian to atheist (long story). His story about being an Episcopalian is where four or more E’s are gathered, there will also be a fifth. Or two.

I forgot Judaism - oy, Moshe and I had money on Houston and UCLA. Why does this always happen to us?

Baptist - once a national champion always a national champion

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Excellent, everyone gets a little poke at fun. Good insight.

Church of Christ – if you’re not one of us you can’t watch.

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Monte Python in search of the Holy Grail

This is funny.

Or course, as soccer lovers like me and Swine know…the most intense sports rivalry on earth literally IS a Catholic versus Protestant thing…with resonances that stem from the Troubles in Northern Ireland in the 70’s and 80’s. People literally die in events associated with that rivalry.

Celtic v. Rangers

So while this is Baptists v. Catholics in a lighthearted way…and is fun…I promise you there are some out there who probably will take that slant pretty seriously!!

What’s funny is this life long Baptist is rooting for the Catholic team! :rofl:

Oh yeah. Big time. Gunners-Spurs can’t hold a candle to The Old Firm rivalry. Neither can Bama-Auburn or UNC-Duke or Yankees-Red Sox or anything else on this side of the pond.

Well done pavlov! So far it is the Catholics who are underwater.

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