Aggie joke thread

Let’s see what ya got!

There are no Aggie jokes. All of those stories are true.


The only place you find “culture” in college station is in the long version of the school’s name…

and they even removed it from that.

Go, Aggies!

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A recent Texas A&M grad wanted to start a chicken farm. So he bought 1,000 chicks and planted them in his field. The next morning, none had survived. He contacted the most illustrious agriculture professor at A&M, telling his story and asking earnestly, “What went wrong?” The professor replied, “Not sure. Send me a soil sample!”


Aggie engineer team met with Elon Musk to try to convince him they could design a space capsule to go to Mars. Afterall they sent one to the sun. Elon exclaimed “How did you do that? No metal on earth can withstand that heat!”

“We went at night.”

Why do Aggie parents prevent their kids from playing in the sand box?

Because the cat keeps burying them.

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How many aggies does it take to sod the football field?

  1. 100 to lay the sod & 1 to sit in the stands & yell, “green side up.”
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Number of female cheerleaders:

Arkansas: Many

A&M: None

“Have you ever tried to wipe yourself with 2 quarters, 3 dimes, and 4 nickels?!?”

Texas and Texas A&M were playing. A train went by and hearing the train whistle Texas ran off the field with a 7 point lead thinking the game was over. 5 plays later the Aggies scored and tied the game.

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When an Aggie’s wife had triplets, her husband grabbed his shotgun & ran out to find the other two guys.


What do you get when you cross an Aggie coed with an Arkansas Razorback? Nothing. Some things even a pig won’t touch.

Clay rattled off so many on the Morning Rush he could go on the road.

The one he says is his best is:

Did you hear about the skeleton they found on the Texas A&M campus? It was the 1938 Hide and Go Seek Champion.

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That one is my favorite. The 1938 Hide and Go Seek Champ.

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I also like the Aggie deer hunter story. He was dragging the deer pulling the back legs but the antlers were dragging and slowing him down. Told to pull it by the antlers, the Aggie changed his game plan until he realized he had gone 2 miles the wrong way.


Small plane crashes into a College Station cemetery.

So far Aggies have recovered 300 bodies & are still digging


I have to say that was the best that I have heard in a long time. Maybe just the best regardless. I love it!

A&M announced they have a new mascot…a zebra they named “Spot.”

Two guys sitting at a bar. One says, “I’ll bet you’re a Arkansas grad.”

“Why, yes, I am,” the second guy replies. “How did you know?”

“Well, I noticed how you can talk with others about a host of topics, how the women here at the bar are drawn to you, how well-dressed you are. You just seem like a very intelligent, personable, successful man. I figured you had to be a Razorback.”

“You’re very kind,” the Arkansas alum said. “And, I’ll bet you’re a Texas A&M grad.”

“Well, yeah, I am,” the Aggie said. “But, tell me how you knew that?”

“Easy,” said the Razorback. “I saw your school ring when you picked your nose.”